Anonymous is torn between being the bigger person and getting her revenge
Katlego Sekhu
Anonymous lost her husband to COVID-19 in 2020. They had been married for three years and had two young children together. She was not working at the time.
When he passed, her family offered nothing. She carried the funeral alone, leaning on her faith and her own resolve to honour the man she loved. By her own account, everything went well. But the silence from her family left a big wound.
In the years that followed, she found employment, rebuilt her life, and raised her children on her own. Then, a few months ago, her sister lost her husband. When the time came, Anonymous showed up with her presence and her hands. But she did not open her wallet.
Her family struggled to cover the funeral costs and have not forgiven her for it. They believe that because she is now financially stable, she had a responsibility to step in.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know if there are any blind spots she might be missing, and whether it is too late to raise what happened to her in 2020 without it sounding like revenge.
“Uncle T, I lost my husband in 2020 during COVID. We had only been married for three years and had two children together. At the time, we were still trying to find our financial footing as a young couple, and I was not working.
“During his passing and funeral, I received no financial support from my family-no offers, no check-ins asking if I needed help. While funerals during that time were not as costly as they usually are, what hurt me most was not the money itself, but the silence. I told myself that he was my husband and the father of my children, and it was my duty to honour him properly. I did what I had to do, and by God’s grace, everything went well. It was painful, but I carried on.
“I eventually got a good-paying job, rebuilt my life, and managed to provide for my children on my own. I never forgot how alone I felt during that time. A few months ago, my sister also lost her husband. When that happened, I chose not to step in financially. I showed up-I helped where I could with my hands, my presence, and emotional support-but I did not contribute financially. At the time, I felt I had already lived through that experience alone, and I was still carrying the memory of it. My family did not take this well. My siblings and mother are now upset with me, saying I should have helped because I am now in a better financial position.
“They struggled to bury my brother-in-law, and I know I could have made a difference- but I also remember how I was left to carry my own burden years ago. Uncle T, was this a moment where I should have been the bigger person and shown my family what “family” is meant to do? Or was I right for not turning the other cheek?
“On the one hand, I feel guilty, as if I abandoned them in their time of need. On the other hand, I feel like I was standing in a boundary I had to create for my own emotional safety and survival. Is it too late to raise how they treated me during my time of need without sounding vengeful? And now I don’t know where I stand anymore, between being hurt, being justified, and being misunderstood by my own family.”
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The post ‘I buried my husband alone. When my sister’s turn came, I returned the favour’ – The Blind Spot appeared first on KAYA 959.
